About The Author and This Stupid Website

Charlie Sweatpants (née Schaldenbrand) is an overeducated drunken pothead from Ann Arbor, Michigan, the Midwest’s premier spawn point for overeducated drunken potheads. He is also the author of Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead and a significant (but non-actionable) number of violently profane letters to the editorial board of The New York Times.

If this thing ever becomes a real book he’ll have to write a real acknowledgments section, expressing a heartfelt but monetarily void sense of thanks. In the meantime, acknowledgment must be paid to the dedicated professionals at the nation’s public libraries, particularly those in Ann Arbor; Chicago, Illinois; and Memphis, Tennessee. If you absurdly wonderful people would just stop giving me books, I wouldn’t have to write so goddamn much, but I know you won’t. I love you all so bad it hurts.